"CATCH'EM CHARLIE" by Robert Carl Johnson Robert Carl Johnson 7510 E. Gem Shores Rd. Hayden Lake, ID 83835 (208) 772-9838 robertcarljohnson@gmail.com FADE IN: BLACK SCREEN SUPER: "VIETNAM 1964" EXT. MOUNTAIN - DAY The sunrise seeps over a mountain ridge and further down the mountain light shards spike the earth as dense tropical vegetation slowly separate. JOHN CHASE and THAD MILLER (20) peer from the tangle, alert eyes roving: sweat-streaked dirty faces, camouflage bandanas bind their forehead, filthy cloth name tags and camouflage uniforms blend into their world. They carry M14 rifles. Sergeant John quietly steps into knee-high grass. Corporal Thad cautiously follows with a radio backpack. Their alert eyes flit across lush landscape and note every detail. John stops and appears to listen. They move cautious and quiet, their gaze intent. John stops, holds up a hand and goes to one knee. Thad goes to one knee. John examines the grass and foliage. Distant Vietcong VOICES and LAUGHTER. JOHN We're the best trackers south of Hanoi. EXT. VIETCONG CAMP - SAME Forty Vietcong soldiers laugh, talk fast, smoke cigarettes and cook on fires, surrounded by thatch huts. Four VC stand guard. THAD (V.O.) You best pray those laughing hyenas never know the difference. EXT. JUNGLE - SAME Distant VC VOICES. John and Thad squat in the grass, then move cautious and quiet, eyes alert. John holds up a hand, then lowers his palm below his waist. They lay down. John nods to his right. They crawl in that direction, then part the foliage and see the VC camp below their position. VC soldiers smoke, laugh and cook over fires. JOHN Time to call the Ravens. THAD When they arrive it's time to get the hell out of here... Thad holds a radio pack to his chest and speaks into a mic. THAD ...Wolf One to Ravin Leader. Charlie's one click due south of hill 668. EXT. TWO UH1B HELICOPTER GUNSHIPS - SAME Helicopter 2 trails behind helicopter 1. PILOT 1 (V.O.) Ravin Leader to Wolf One. After hill 668 fly-over I'll light them up. THAD (V.O.) Wolf One can hardly wait, Ravin Leader. PILOT 1 (V.O.) Ravin Leader to Ravin Two. Going in hot from the south and mark a Willie Peter. Stand by for possible correction and strike from the north. Helicopter 2 trails off. PILOT 2 (O.S.) Ravin One copy Ravin Leader. Helicopter 1 ROARS noise down over a hill, races toward the VC camp, fires a rocket and misses. THAD (V.O.) Wolf One to Raven Leader. You're taking automatic weapon and small arm fire. Raven Two. Make kill rounds 150 meters due south of Willie Peter marking. PILOT 2 (O.S.) Ravin Two copy Wolf One. Helicopter 2 ROARS nose down at the VC camp and fires HE rockets and mini machine-guns at the -- EXT. VC CAMP - SAME VC soldiers run for their life, fire weapons at the helicopter and die as major rocket EXPLOSIONS, machine-gun fire and secondary EXPLOSIONS destroy the camp. EXT. JUNGLE - SAME Distant SCREAMS, GUNFIRE and EXPLOSIONS. John examines a map. Thad holds the radio pack to his chest and speaks into a mic. THAD (V.O.) Wolf One to Raven Leader. Set extration at secondary point, thirty mikes. PILOT 1 (O.S.) Copy, Wolf One. A dirty, sandaled foot SNAPS a twig. John and Thad grab their rifles and roll onto their backs in opposite directions. Two VC point rifles at them and open fire. Bullets chop dirt between John and Thad, each shot moving closer. A bullet smashes the radio pack clutched to Thad's chest. A bullet rips into John's chest. Thad fires a burst. VC slam onto their backs. John and Thad are wild-eyed. Thad notices the shattered radio pack. THAD Let's get the hell out of here! John rips open his shirt, jerks out a Bible and jams a finger into a bullet hole. He wears a bullet proof vest. JOHN I took us into hell. You get us out! They scramble into the undergrowth as other VC shoot at them and give chase. Racing for their lives, foliage's destroyed and mud splatters in an exchange of shots. LATER Exhausted, John and Thad hide as VC creep through the vegetation toward them. They fire on the VC, who give chase as the marines race away. LATER John and Thad hide in vegetation and see a small grass clearing, then look up as a helicopter's ENGINE gets LOUDER. Helicopter 1 comes into view and starts to land in the clearing. John and Thad race toward the helicopter as a hail of bullets rake the earth around them. John's leg takes a hit and he tumbles. Thad struggles John up and holds him as they stagger toward the helicopter and the bay machine gunner fires at the VC. Thad's shot in the side and falls, pulling John over him. THAD Hit bad. Can't make it to the bird. Go. Maggie needs you. JOHN We both need you. In a hail of bullets, John pushes with one foot and drags Thad to the helicopter. VC bullets strike the helicopter as the bay gunner returns fire. John struggles up on one leg, lifts Thad into the bay, then crawls inside. INT. HELICOPTER - SAME Bullets ZING and CLANK through the interior. The machine gunner returns fire at the VC as the helicopter rises, then he's shot. John crawls to the machine-gun and surpresses enemy fire. THAD What a nasty place to die! JOHN No way! Got my faith! THAD And I got him! Thad jabs a thumb at the pilot. A bullet slams into the pilot's side and he slumps over the controls. The copilot grabs his controls. EXT. HELICOPTER - SAME The helicopter struggles to remain in control. THAD (O.S.) If we survive, we should be cops. It's a lot safer and better pay! JOHN (O.S.) You're crazy! I'm goin' to be ah preacher like my Daddy. EXT. MOUNTAIN - NIGHT - DAY SUPER: "FIFTY-TWO YEARS LATER - NORTH IDAHO" The sunrise seeps over a mountain ridge and further down the mountain light shards spike ground mist between Fall colored leaves and pine tree branches. A man strolls a trail with quiet, old grace, haloed in the mystical glow. A floppy hat covered with fishing flies obscures his face. He wears rubber wader hip boots and carries a split bamboo fly rod. JOHN (V.O.) As ah Southern child I was taught never to look or think beyond the Bible, nor to try and understand life between black print and pure, white space that separate men and their beliefs... He watches a doe and two bucks with large racks graze in a meadow, strolls past and slides through the mist to a gentle stream. JOHN (V.O.) ...My life's wars left many wounds on mind and body, but were healed by the love of ah great woman and the brotherhood of two wise men. We had our differences, but were bound together as one soul... A golden leaf falls from an aspen tree and gently settles at wader boots upon damp earth. His weathered hand picks up the leaf. JOHN (V.O.) ...We made promises that nearly destroyed us, and to fulfill those promises Maggie took our hands... A fingertip traces the veins on the leaf's belly, then it is placed gently upon the water. Wader boots follow the leaf downstream and it gains momentum. Boots quicken their pace, then fall back. JOHN (V.O.) ...and in her gentle way guided us on ah difficult journey that taught us how to color between the lines, givin' the gray area beauty and life... The leaf crashes over a small fall, floats calmly around a bend and is swept into a raging river. JOHN (V.O.) ...It was ah journey of love that made us whole and set us free. EXT. RIVER - LATER The floppy hat obscures the man's face. He stands in calm water and fly-fishes in an easy movement. John's (72) weathered face looks over his shoulder at a Catch'em Charlie fly vault in a lazy arch, descend lightly upon the water and float and dance on a gentle wind. A large cutthroat trout strikes the fly, leaps and tail- dances and fights for survival on its journey to the bamboo rod's tip. He gently unhooks the trout. A fingertip strokes its head. He releases it and watches it swim away. JOHN Goodbye dear friend. Another day. Another dance. A golden retriever, doe and two bucks with large racks watch him wade to shore. EXT. LAX AIRPORT - DAY SUPER: "TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS PREVIOUS - LOS ANGELES 1989" The ROAR of commercial jets. Hectic travelers and traffic. INT. AIRPORT BOARDING GATE / CONCOURSE - SAME Passengers and CHARLIE GIBBINS (62) exit the gate. He strolls the concourse, eyes alert with casually expertise, and spots uniformed officers and anyone that might be plain-clothed cops. He carries an old gym bag and dresses clean but poorly. EXT. LAX AIRPORT ENTRANCE - SAME Charlie moseys out a door carrying the gym bag, casually spots all possible law enforcement personnel, then -- INT. BUS - SAME boards a bus with a designation sign: "DOWNTOWN L.A." Charlie smiles at the bus driver and gives her money. CHARLIE Good mornin' missie. He sits at a window and tips a casual salute at an uniformed officer on the sidewalk as the bus pulls away. CHARLIE Hope you forgive the trouble I'm bringin' yah. EXT. LAPD PARKER CENTER HEADQUARTERS - SAME Thad and John (45) grin as John bows at an old bag woman, then opens the main entrance door for her. A toothless smile radiates her past beauty. Thad and John saunter in after her, wearing off the rack suits. Handcuff tie pins secure matching neckties to the chest of freshly pressed stiff-collar shirts. INT. PARKER CENTER HALLWAY - SAME John and Thad stroll from an elevator, to a door with a sign: "ROBBERY-HOMICIDE DIVISION." SQUAD ROOM Busy detectives talk on phones, interview mid-class victims, sleazy suspects, and type on computers. John and Thad fill their mugs with coffee, then grab a bagel and muffin. No donuts for these guys. They sit heavily at their desks, each displaying a cheap- small vase containing a wilted red rose. They trash the roses, take a fresh red rose from a suit pocket, put it into the vases, kick back, sip brew and munch their treat. THAD Which bad guy we chasing today? JOHN One that crawls in and gives up. THAD What's important is where we eat lunch? JOHN Any place as long as it ain't Chinese. Thad licks bagel crumbs from his fingers, grabs a "pointed" chopstick from a drawer, uses it for a toothpick, then boots up a computer. THAD First thing, a follow-up on the Polite Bandit case. JOHN Not much to write on that ghost. Hate typin'. I use my brain. You use your finger. Thad flips John the "peace sign V", then types. John grins, sips brew, stuffs the last muffin bite into his mouth and crumbs join other debris on his tie. INT. BUS TERMINAL - SAME A bus grinds to a stop. Charlie slowly gets off, casually glances around and moseys out of the terminal carrying the old gym bag. EXT. BUSINESS DISTRICT / SIDEWALK / STREET - SAME Charlie casually glances around and blends into foot traffic, following SARAH HAMILTON (24). She's on the business fast- track, trim and lovely. A marked police car approaches them from behind. INT. MARKED POLICE CAR - SAME Uniformed officer MARK CHASE (24) drives. He and his partner observe area activity, then focus on Sarah. Charlie closely follows her. MARK Wow! A nine point nine! The police car continues on. EXT. SIDEWALK / ALLEY - SAME Charlie follows and admires Sarah, then leans against a building, casually glances around, enters an alley, looks over his shoulder and steps behind a huge Dumpster. He removes a wig, sunglasses, mustache, false nose, baseball cap and windbreaker from the gym bag and puts them on. He puts a paper sack and a piece of paper into separate windbreaker pockets, then hides the gym bag behind the dumpster. EXT. BANK - LATER A window sign: "NATIONAL BANK." Charlie's at the entrance and a veiled look scans in the surroundings. INT. BANK LOBBY - SAME Charlie casually looks around, fakes a limp to a counter, pretends to write out a bank slip and slides a look around. Sarah talks with a customer at a desk. A teller's window has no customers. Charlie limps to the window, gives the teller a note and she looks at it. Her confused look turns to fright. He gives her the sack. CHARLIE Do as the note says, missie, and everyone will be alright. Got ah bomb and police scanner in my pocket. Sound an alarm and the bomb blows... INT. ROBBERY-HOMICIDE SQUAD ROOM - SAME John sips coffee and watches Thad type on the computer. CHARLIE (V.O.) ...Don't rush, missie. Act normal. Give only the amount of money written in the note. Not ah penny more. Three SHRILL BEEPS. Detectives freeze in place. MALE (V.O.) (radio broadcast) All units in the vicinity and One- A-Ninety-Six. Bank two-eleven in progress. Six-three-nine South Broadway. One-A-Ninety-Six, your call is code three. John and Thad jump up. JOHN That's my son's unit! Let's roll! THAD We have a choice? The bank's in our area, and he's my kid too! INT. BANK TELLER'S COUNTER - SAME The teller gives Charlie the sack. He smiles, tips a finger to the baseball cap and nods. CHARLIE Hope you're forgivin' the trouble I brung ya. He puts the sack under his windbreaker. EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - SAME A marked police car races through traffic, the SIREN stops - emergency lights flash, and a half a block later SCREECHES to a stop, angled toward the bank. Mark and his partner leap out and take cover behind the car. Mark grips a shotgun; his partner a 9 mm automatic. Four marked police cars, two each from opposite directions, converge on the bank and angle park toward the bank's entrance - emergency lights flash - no siren. Uniformed officers bail out, take cover behind their car and point shotguns and 9 mm automatics at the bank's entrance. EXT. SIDEWALK / STREET - SAME Charlie's in a crowd as a detective car races past - SIREN - emergency lights flashing on the dashboard. INT. DETECTIVE CAR - SAME John drives. Thad, passenger. They zip down the street and SCREECH to a stop at the bank. Officers crouch behind their cars and point weapons at the bank. EXT. BANK - SAME John and Thad bail out of their car, 9 mm automatics in hand, and race to Mark and his partner, peering cautiously through the bank's glass door and window. JOHN (to Mark) See the bad guy? MARK No, Dad. JOHN Ready? Mark and his partner nod. John, Thad, Mark and his partner cautiously enter the bank. EXT. ALLEY / STREET - LATER Charlie's behind the Dumpster putting the disguise and windbreaker into the gym bag, then strolls to the sidewalk carrying the gym bag and looks at the distant bank. Police cars and uniformed officers are everywhere. John and Thad lumber into their car. As they drive past Charlie, he smiles and tips a finger to the baseball cap's bill. CHARLIE Hope you're forgivin' the trouble I brung ya. EXT. LAPD ACADEMY PARKING LOT - LATER John parks the detective car. He and Thad labor out. INT. ACADEMY CAFE BOOTH - LATER A crusty, old waitress shuffles to John and Thad, seated in a booth. THAD Two range burgers and iced teas, please. A false smile nearly cracks her rouge. She writes the order and shuffles away. JOHN The Polite Bandit's hit nine times in three years! That's a mite too much for me! THAD Mellow out. Catching bank robbers is only a game. JOHN Wrong's wrong! Right's right! No matter what you say! THAD You're too hard on everyone, and yourself. Life's not black and white. It's the vast gray in between. JOHN Livin' in black and white makes decisions easy! Step into darkness and -- THAD That's your Bible belt upbringing. I can't understand how Maggie puts up with you. The waitress serves hamburgers and iced teas, then shuffles away. John stares at his hamburger. Thad takes a huge bite, grins and chews. EXT. JOHN'S HOUSE REAR YARD - DAY SUPER: "FIVE MONTHS LATER" Very lovely area. Rosebushes in full bloom. MAGGIE CHASE(46) and ESTHER KNOWLES (23) place food on a picnic table. Thad and TOM KNOWLES (25) talk and drink lemonade under a shade tree. John barbecues at the patio. Printed on the apron's chest: "WORLD'S GREATEST CHIEF." Barney, a golden retriever, is at his side. JOHN Maggie, darlin'. Mark goin' to make it? MAGGIE (glances at watch) He's was off duty two hours ago and should be here any minute. ESTHER Mom. Will you get Matt while I bring the playpen? MAGGIE He's my sunshine. A gate opens and a cow bell CLANKS. Mark and Sarah hold hands and enter the yard. Mark waves at Maggie and Esther and grins at Sarah as they stroll to John at the barbecue. MARK Relax. You'll do just fine. Maggie joins them. Mark hugs Maggie and John. MARK Mom. Dad. Meet Sarah. They shake Sarah's hand. MAGGIE Mark said you were a beauty. JOHN Been lookin' forward to meetin' you. SARAH It is nice to meet you both. JOHN Call us Maggie and John. MAGGIE Please excuse me. I have to get Matt. Mark scratches Barney's head. MARK Didn't mean to ignore you, Barney. Barney licks Mark's hand. SARAH The ribs smell great. MARK They sure do. JOHN Learned from your grandma. The best cook in the Ouachita Mountains. Grandpa was ah close second. MARK I sure wish they had lived long enough for me to have met them. JOHN What ah couple. Never forget family and friends is God's greatest gift. John glances at Tom and Thad talking and drinking lemonade under a shade tree. MARK You miss the mountains? JOHN Mountains, fishin' bass at Hot Springs, yes. Arkansas' heat, no. After dinner, Mom and I have an announcement... Mark has a quizzical look. JOHN ...Patience's ah virtue, son. Tom and Thad watch Mark and Sarah talk with John. TOM I give her a nine point eight. THAD You need a cop's eye. Nine point nine. They admire Sarah as she and Mark approach. TOM (to Mark) Nice choice. MARK (laughs) Meet Sarah. The love of my life. This is Thad and Tom. Thad and Tom hug Sarah. THAD The family welcomes you. TOM (to Mark) How goes crushing crime? MARK It has bad moments. TOM I'd rather sell a house than raid one. Everyone laughs. SARAH I remember you, Thad. I'm the National Bank's loan manager. Did you ever catch that disguised robber? THAD Don't mention the Polite Bandit to John. It will spoil his dinner. Esther carries a playpen from the house's rear door, followed by Maggie holding MATT's (3) hand. Tom sets the playpen under the tree. Maggie puts Matt into the playpen. Esther arranges plates, etc., on the picnic table. LATER Everyone eats at the picnic table and have a good time. Matt's in a highchair. John wipes barbecue sauce off Matt's chin. Barney sits patiently by John. MARK I have an announcement. Sarah will soon be a Chase. Everyone's excited. Maggie gives Sarah a hug and a kiss. JOHN Well, son. That can't be topped... (loving look at Maggie) ...I've been blessed to have this wonderful family and friends. THAD (adoring glance at Maggie) Look out. Here it comes. JOHN You know me too well... (winks at Maggie) ...Mom and I bought ah spread on the Coeur d' Alene River. We're retirin' to North Idaho soon as the house sells. Maggie holds John's hand. Thad looks upon their love. EXT. MAIN STREET - ANOTHER DAY A ratty car rumbles past the L.A. City Hall. INT. OLD CAR - SAME A dirt-bag ROBBER (25) spots a marked police car approach from the opposite direction. His hand slides onto a sawed-off shotgun on the front seat. He watches the police car pass. Mark drives. He and his partner ignore the robber's car. The robber looks into the rear view mirror at the police car continuing on. INT. BANK - LATER The robber swaggers in, glances around, whips the shotgun from beneath a trench coat, points it at terrified customers and strides toward a teller's window. ROBBER Everyone kiss the deck, or die! Customers hit the floor, fast. A pregnant woman clutches a small girl to her chest. The robber jabs the shotgun at the teller's face and shoves a paper sack across the counter. He glances at the customers, then glares at the teller. ROBBER Fill it fast! No alarm or I dump you, then the pregnant bitch and the kid! The terrified teller stuffs money into the sack. EXT. BANK - SAME The robber bursts onto the sidewalk, snaps a look around, jerks to a stop. Mark, his partner and eight uniformed officers point 9 mm automatics and shotguns from behind five marked police cars. MARK Drop your gun! The robber fires the shotgun at Mark and destroys the police car's headlights and windshield. Mark and his partner return fire. A hail of bullets drop the robber. A SIREN approaches. A detective car SCREECHES to a stop in front of the bank - emergency lights flash - SIREN stops. John, driver, and Thad bail out, 9 mm automatics in hand, and run to the robber. Uniformed officers secure the area. Thad glances at the robber and cautiously enters the bank with several uniformed officers. John stares coldly at the terrified robber lying among money and blood. Mark's foot is on the robber's shotgun stock. JOHN You dump him? MARK Had a piece of it. ROBBER Help me. I'm dyin'? They kneel by the robber. Mark pushes the shotgun away, pulls a handkerchief from a pocket and presses it against the robber's chest wounds. JOHN Maybe, son. Scriptures in the Book of John say's, "You play, you pay, and better pray..." Distant SIREN. Mark stares questioningly at John. JOHN ...L-A-P-D Detective Three John's book on doin' wrong. Mark's taken aback as John steps over the robber's body and strolls into the bank. An ambulance SKIDS to a stop - SIREN - emergency lights. MONTAGE - CHARLIE'S LIFE PASSES BY - DAY -- Mountain trees are in Fall colors. Charlie's in a river casting a Catch'em Charlie fly, landing it softly on calm water (page 7 location.) A cutthroat trout takes the fly to lip and tail-dances in a spray of water. NIGHT -- Snowing. Charlie's ratty pickup truck parks among old and new 4x4 trucks and cars in a dirt parking lot. He leavers from the truck carrying an old cigar box and labors up an old two-story log building's steps. Over the porch is a sign: "SNAKEPIT - ESTABLISHED 1880." DAY -- Mountain trees are in Spring color. Charlie drives his truck on a two-lane road. The old gym bag's on the seat. LATER -- Charlie drinks a red beer and looks out a commerical airplane's window. INT. SPORTING GOODS STORE - SAME DAY John examines fishing reels and poles, wanders to the fly section, examines several flies, and answers a cell phone's COUNTRY WESTERN MUSICAL ring. JOHN Chase. (scowls) INT. DETECTIVE CAR - SAME Thad eats Chinese food from a carton with chopsticks, watches John amble from the sporting good store and labor behind the steering wheel. JOHN Fried chicken and mashed potatoe's real food!... Thad tauntingly slides noodles into his mouth. JOHN ...Bullard and Lank are rollin' backup. The Polite Bandit just hit. THAD And disappeared into the twilight zone. JOHN You're the smart guy with the magic touch. You finger it out. Thad grins and flips a switch on the dashboard's emergency lights. John races the detective car away, SIREN screaming. INT. LAX BOARDING GATE 7 - LATER Charlie casually looks around, spots security officers and carries the old gym bag. ANNOUNCER (V.O.) United flight two-eleven is boarding for Spokane at gate seven. He smiles, tips a finger to the baseball cap's bill and gives a female agent a boarding pass. INT. CRIME LAB - SAME John and Thad look at a typed note inside a plastic bag, held by a female TECHNICIAN wearing a white lab coat. CHARLIE (V.O.) Have a nice day, missie. TECHNICIAN The letter G's bent like in the other robbery notes. Find that old typewriter. It's the best evidence. JOHN I go to sleep hearin' his words, "Hope you're forgivin' the trouble I brung ya." I'll never forget. THAD Don't forget, "missie." TECHNICIAN Who calls women missie? JOHN My Daddy. INT. GARAGE - NIGHT John cleans a fly-fishing reel at a workbench. Barney lies on the floor. Fishing flies covering a floppy fishing hat, mounted bass and fishing poles hang on the wall behind the tidy bench. MAGGIE (O.S.) John. Dinner's ready. INT. JOHN'S KITCHEN - LATER John and Maggie eat fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc. Barney lies at John's feet. A vase of roses is on the table. MAGGIE A very interested buyer looked at the house today... He shrugs with indifference. MAGGIE ...This is a big decision for us. Can you give up the job? It's been your life. JOHN You're my life and I'm spendin' it lovin' you. Got one regret. The Polite Bandit done wrong and got away. Drivin' me crazy. MAGGIE You live the Good Book except for forgiveness. Try to understand and love him no matter what he's done. JOHN Love of family and friends, yes... (his fork stabs a chicken breast) ...Lovin' and forgivin' that bandit, never! INT. BANQUET ROOM - NIGHT On the wall behind the head table is a large banner: "MAGGIE AND JOHN. YOUR LAPD FRIENDS THANK YOU FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OF DEDICATED SERVICE." Seated at the head table: John, Maggie, Mark, Sarah, Esther, Tom, Matt and Lieutenant DAN SLOAN. A tablecloth covers a huge item at the end of the table. Guests pack the room. Thad's at the podium. THAD And now a special surprise from me to John. A Chinese waiter carries a tray of Chinese food, grins and bows and presents John the food. John laughs. Guest's laughter. JOHN'S FACE appears again. He's at the podium and tempers emotions. JOHN I thank all of you, our L-A-P-D family. You've helped Maggie and me through twenty-five years of mostly good times. THAD Not for us. Guests laugh and clap. JOHN I guess I've been a little hard on -- THAD We all agree! Guests laugh and clap. JOHN (embarrassed chuckle) Now you can appreciate how much dung I've dodged the last twelve years with Thad as my partner... (O.S. guest's LAUGHTER - CLAPPING) ...All jokes aside, and Thad's a huge a joke... (O.S. guest's LAUGHTER - CLAPPING) ...But I love him as a brother. We go back to boot camp, beat wet feet in Nam, left buckets of sweat, some blood, then joined the L-A-P-D. BACK TO SCENE A mischievous John kisses an embarrassed Thad's forehead, then returns to the podium. Guests clap, hoot and laugh. JOHN I'm blessed with wonderful friends and family. Most everyone knows my lovin' wife, Maggie... (motions Maggie to stand. Guests APPLAUD) ...Thank's for the best twenty- seven years of my life. I never understood how you put up with me... Thad looks lovingly at Maggie. Family members stand to APPLAUSE as their name is spoken, then sit. JOHN ...I'd like to introduce the family. Our son, Mark, who works Central patrol, our new daughter- in-law, Sarah, our daughter Esther, her husband, Tom, our grandson, Matt and our best friend, Thad. Thad grins. THAD'S FACE appears again. He is at the podium. THAD Now for a few gifts for the honored. Maggie, throw away the iron skillet and make way for a microwave and twenty-five of your favorite rosebushes. Dan pushes a wheelbarrow over to Maggie. It contains twenty- five bare-root rosebushes and a microwave oven with a large pink bow. THAD Keep the wheelbarrow, John. Now you'll have time to help Maggie attend to her new garden... Guests laugh and clap. THAD ...And for John we also have... Dan pulls the tablecloth off an outboard motor and chain saw with a large blue bow. THAD ...something to push him around the lakes and rivers, other than his one oar. And a chain saw to help build your log home... EXT. JOHN'S NEW LOG HOME - DAY The house is in a forested mountain meadow above a river. John shovels compose out of a wheelbarrow and dumps it around a rosebush Maggie's planting by the front porch. THAD (V.O.) ...May you both have a happy retirement in the great Northwest!